Many people feel easily irritated by their spouse or partner. I’m often asked why this is, and the answer might shock you.
Understand that your anger and frustration in relationships is the result of cultural conditioning that tells us the person we’re with should somehow complete us. This belief causes suffering and disconnection from knowing how to meet your own needs and communicate them with ease.
We must fundamentally overhaul the very nature of relationships in order to truly understand the deeper transformational power that is available to us through engaging in them.
In this episode, learn how to...
Move away from blaming your partner and take responsibility for your own emotions...
Stop setting your partner up for failure and find more freedom in your relationship...
See anger and frustration as an opportunity to address what’s unresolved within you...
Relationships are so much more expansive when you’re not dependent on the other to complete you. Creating spaciousness, peace and growth in your relationship is as simple as taking personal responsibility for your emotions.
Let go of the need for control and start creating a relationship rooted in authenticity.
What if your anger were actually a gift?
What if the emotion that you repress the most also has the most to teach you about yourself?
What if by repressing your anger you’re creating even more of it?
Everyone gets angry, but when you shine the light of awareness on your anger, it can transform from a burden to a blessing.
In this video, explore how you can feel your anger without unleashing it onto others and discover...
You can let go of the idea that anger is wrong, that feeling angry makes you a bad or a volatile person. You can release all the preconceived ideas you hold about anger and transmute that energy into a catalyst for greater self-awareness and discovery.
Many people believe your temper is some unruly thing that needs to be reined in...
How do you address your anger and tame your temper? There’s really only one way and that is to meet it with patience, empathy, compassion and love.
That’s the only way we can really and truly tame any aspect of ourselves. By understanding that there is no part of us that is wrong... That in truth, there’s no part of us that really needs to be tamed.
Do you struggle with your anger? Do you feel the need to control it when it arises, because if you don’t, you’re afraid it will control you?
It’s not the anger that’s getting in the way... It’s the need for control that’s preventing you from finding the freedom that’s available to you.
Explore control and why you feel the need to assert a level of it over anything in life. The only way to control anger or to control anything is to give up the false notion of control itself.
Fear triggers the part of us that’s rooted in survival and that’s why we’re unable to deal with it. We either fight, run away or freeze.
All of these behaviors don’t serve us and they don’t allow us to fully thrive and flourish into all that we’re becoming and all that we’re growing into.
How do you own fear and recognize that it is an ally in your evolution?
Do you have dreams that have gone unrealized?
Pieces of music that have remained unwritten... Books that have remained unfinished... Expressions that have been wanting to be born into this world that haven’t been allowed to see the light of day... Businesses that never made it past the business plan...
There is so much in you that wants to be shared that you are not allowing to be expressed through you at this time, and that’s for one reason and one reason alone...
You’re afraid of failing, to be powerful, and to really birth what’s within you into this world.
There are two things that are required to overcome this: 1) an ability to risk and 2) a heightened sense of vulnerability.
There’s one thing that we all are afraid of... and it’s change. It’s the unknown. Is the fear of the unknown keeping you from your greatness?
We’re most afraid of that which isn’t familiar because we’ve been conditioned to operate inside of what’s known and what is familiar. The only problem is that what’s known and what’s familiar doesn’t allow us to be extraordinary and dynamic.
We have to constantly evolve beyond that which we know and that which we are aware of is a limitation. We have to constantly innovate. We have to constantly be creative. We have to constantly follow the evolutionary impulse within us to be more and to express in a greater way and to share more.
Repetitious cycles and monotony lead to mediocrity.
How do you break free of repetitious cycles and monotony? How do you break free of living on auto pilot in order to really be alive?
Are you consumed by fear but you don’t think you’re ready to tackle it and you don’t know where to begin to overcome it?
You need to know that the only power that fear has over you is the power that you’ve assigned it. You are equipped to tackle fear. You just need to move into a place of receiving and of allowing. Become completely comfortable in your own comfortability.
Are you dealing with emotional scars?
Although scars don’t define us, they do leave a lasting mark. The mark ultimately serves as a milestone in our development—and ultimately over time, our relationship with our scars transforms until eventually they become a source of beauty.
Over time, as our perception evolves and as our level of harmony evolves within us, that scar that we’ve experienced emotionally and the emotional wounding will transform.
Eventually, you will evolve on from this moment and you will develop courage to move on from the past.
How do you forget that which caused the emotional scarring? And more importantly, how do you make forgiveness stick to be able to forget?
Do you wonder if it’s possible to forgive someone who will never change?
Maybe you have a father, or a mother, or a spouse or a sibling—somebody that’s close to you and that you deeply love and care about—who engages in some sort of harmful or negative activities...?
By wanting that individual to change, you’re only perpetuating your experience of suffering. Life isn’t about changing the people around you... It’s about loving yourself. The more you love yourself, the less you’re focused on the people around you and their behaviors.
How do you begin to love yourself so that you can forgive someone who will never be different and will never change?
Many of you believe you've done things that may be deemed unforgivable. Maybe you hurt someone or you stood by and allowed something to occur that caused harm...
You can't hold yourself hostage for the love and the awareness that you didn't have at the time of the incident. You must evaluate yourself based on the experiences that you've had up until this point instead of based on who you were when the original incident occurred.
Holding on to the guilt, the shame and the unworthiness that you're holding within you, is not serving you and it's not serving the other individual involved either. You must cultivate the courage to let yourself off the hook. How do you let go of the guilt and forgive yourself?
Are you still carrying within you the burdens of the past? Things that have happened to you that you simply just can't forgive or move on from?
As much as you may be justified in holding onto these things... In actuality, it's just further keeping you trapped in limitation. As long as you're holding onto the slights or the traumas of the past, you can't be available for the love and the blessings that are arising in the present and the glorious life that is emerging in the future.
You must cultivate the ability to experience and feel everything you have to inside of you around what has happened, so that you can get to a place of neutrality and so that you can abide in this ever-present expansion that is wanting to unfold deep within you.
The majority of choices we make (as it pertains to relationship post-divorce or post-breakup) are unconscious... However, evolution of awareness and consciousness in energy allows us to choose differently.
Allow yourself to become aware of where you are choosing from and ultimately follow that which feels the most expansive.
Our children are often seen as the casualties of divorce. They're also one of the greater reasons why the majority of couples who are currently in relationship will continue to exist in a dynamic that leads to greater levels of unfulfillment.
Our children are so evolved and so empathic, that they are in some ways already aware of the relationship dynamics that you and your spouse are only now discovering. Honesty and transparency is the necessary antidote to help them move into a place of understanding and awareness around how life is going to look now in your household.
Meet them with transparency and openness.
How can you rediscover yourself and begin to once again open up to the possibility of love?
Divorce often happens because we’ve lost sight of who we are. We fail to recognize that life is a progression and a natural evolution. We continue to relate to ourselves as a past form of whom we are or a past fragment instead of being fully immersed in the present moment experience of life and living...
How do you know when divorce is the right decision?
More and more divorce is becoming an ever increasing statistic in society and people are being faced with this heart wrenching choice of either moving on from a relationship that they’ve known for years or staying and having the courage to begin to explore everything that they need to within them, to begin to take their relationship to a brand new expression...